Unlike in the past, casual hookups are increasingly common today, especially with the heightened use of digital devices, dating websites, and hookup-focused sites. Though there is nothing wrong with hookups or consensual sex, safety comes first. Whether meeting someone from a website or social media platform, it is necessary to recognize the possible dangers of talking to strangers online. Most importantly, though, it is necessary to take prophylactic safety precautions to ensure that the experience is a positive one. From online dating safety to ensuring sexual health, here's all you need to know about hookup safety.
The Risks of Hookup
As mentioned, hookups can be exciting. There's the feeling of not being exclusively attached to anyone, the freedom to enjoy your sexual needs without the burdens of a relationship, and the fun attached to the exhilarating experience—all of these are what make a hookup very fulfilling. Statistics show that over 70% of Americans have and are willing to engage in casual hookups.
But just because casual flings are popular does not mean they are risk-free.
In fact, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) in 2024 reported a combined $1 billion loss due to romance/hookup scams. In addition, a study released by the National Library of Medicine (NLM) reported that hookups generally increase the rate of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and diseases (STDs).
But these risks are not there to scare you. Instead, they should further highlight the reasons for taking hookup safety tips more seriously. By following needed safety measures, the experience can truly be a fun and fulfilling one.
Online Dating Safety: Warning Signs to Look Out For
There's a general saying, "There's no smoke without fire," meaning that there are usually signs before anything happens in reality, and the same goes for the entire experience of casual dates. From the moment you chat with the person online to the day you meet, there are some red flags you should look out for so that you can keep yourself and your possessions safe.
Catfishes - Signs of a Catfish
If you don't already know, catfish are common in online dating. They are people who create fake identities with the aim of scamming or deceiving others for personal gain. While they may seem real at first, there are certain tests you can give out to verify if the person you're talking to is real or not.
Some risk assessment tests to detect catfishes
- Follow their stories: If their stories do not seem to match or the background details are inconsistent, then this is probably a fake person. They may say their mother is a nurse today, and then later on in the discussion, mention how helpless they are for not having any family members.
- When they refuse to do a video call verification: Most online dating apps and social media platforms allow for video calls. This form of verification is essential to confirm that the profile picture matches who is really speaking.
- When they don't want to meet in public locations: Avoidance of meeting in public settings can also signal that the person you are talking to is unreal and not trustworthy.
Other subtle signs include flattery or intense messages too soon or a limited or suspicious social media presence.
Safety Measures to Ensure Hookup Safety
The following is how to stay safe while hooking up (given that you are certain you are not speaking to a catfish)
Communicate Clearly
Open and respectful communication helps set boundaries and expectations before you eventually meet. Before meeting, discuss consent and comfort levels, protection and sexual health guidelines, and any personal triggers or no-go zones. Not only does this promote trust and safety, but directness also prevents miscommunications that can risk your safety.
Plan Your First Meeting in Public Settings
One of the best hookup safety tips we can give to you is to ALWAYS make your initial meetup a public spot. Whether you're grabbing coffee, strolling through the park, or meeting for a drink at a busy bar, being around others provides you with an initial line of defense (in case things get funny).
Some spots that sound great include coffee shops and cafés, public parks during the day, door-staffed or security-attended bars or queer-friendly venues (for queer hookups), mall food courts or busy restaurants, and high-traffic food courts or restaurants. Don't think about either one of your apartments or being in a car for your initial meeting, and if the person you're meeting does not agree to this, then that's a very colorful red flag.
Follow Sexual Health Guidelines
Besides personal safety, sexual health should also be given utmost importance. Use condoms or dental dams each time (and this is non-negotiable), test regularly for STIs/STDs, and discuss sex history with your partner prior (especially if it's a recurring thing). Never have sex when under the influence, especially if it clouds your judgment. Most of all, always protect yourself (do not rely on others).
What To Do During Discreet Encounters
Sometimes, you may find yourself meeting at a hotel or a club you have never been to. In such cases, call the person you're meeting only via video calls to ensure verification of the person and the location. Also, share your location with a trusted friend, and if you can, keep this location live for as long as you can. Finally, you can try having some panic alerts apps like Noonlight or bSafe, just for added security.
What If Something Feels Off?
When you feel a certain way, like something isn't right, it probably isn't. The worst thing you can do is to ignore this feeling. Instead, try to excuse yourself from the person, probably to the restroom, and call a friend. If the feeling is really off, don't hesitate — go home. There are countless taxi and private ride services you can call if you don't drive to the location. Also, if you are using an online dating app like NastyHookups.com that prioritizes safety, you can report the user to our app moderators or even law enforcement if necessary.
Conclusion: Hookups Can Be Safe — If You're Smart About Them
Safety during hookups isn't really about being fearful — it's about knowing better, being equipped, and being proactive. Being either a hook newb or a pro, knowing safety hookup tips can protect your health and your boundaries and keep your mind at ease. Just as the Burnett Foundation Aotearoa reminds us, "Hookups are normal — and safety should be too." Be responsible, be honest, and always opt for public meeting places over secrecy. That way, your secret trysts stay empowering, not dangerous.
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